I don't think brook has ever known best
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
