She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
