I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
