Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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