i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
