That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
even my farts smell like vagina
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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