he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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