You can't motorboat a personality
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
