I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We got so high we made milksteak
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
