Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
