Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
