I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
