Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
