i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
