Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
