I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
