all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
