I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
