i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
