I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
