Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize