I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
