Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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