soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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