apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
