You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize