he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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