Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Floor bacon is actually really good
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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