you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
