the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize