I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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