there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
