So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
