went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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