I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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