quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
