She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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