Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize