Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
