i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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