I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
