You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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