Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize