sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
