So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
