roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
