My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
pray to the hookup gods
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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