some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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