how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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