nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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