I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize