i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
