There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Actions speak louder than pants.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just gargled with NyQuil
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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