Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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