Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
nutella sex= disaster
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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