I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
