i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
