well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
