That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
