We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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