alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
