Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
