Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
