think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
