Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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