Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
