Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
