You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
