then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
