i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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